Today was momentous. Today I cut the final 3mm of yellowy blonde from my fringe. I have fully transitioned into a proper grey haired lady. It took 8 very difficult months. I was sort of expecting to feel jubilant but it's all rather scary. I'm on The Other Side...
However, something has shifted. I have PASSED THE BATON.
What do I mean by that? I mean I'm not playing the game anymore. I have passed the baton to fertile women 20 years younger than me. I have passed the baton to any woman who can still be bothered to dye their hair to try and look younger. I have passed the baton of effort and I've settled for, well, just me. And that is a huge relief.
I realise now that I've been in a bit of a 'let myself go' thing - not exercising like I normally do, not eating as healthily, inevitably putting on weight whilst my shaved hair was growing out the new grey. I literally wanted to be invisable. If I could have hibernated in a little croft in the Scottish Highlands, I would have.
Well, I don't know if it's Spring, or if it's because I've reached the end of one journey and am beginning a whole new one, but suddenly I feel much more like I want to be visable and I want to look after myself again. So I asked The Husband to take some shots of me with my fully grey hair.
And I feel sort of ok about it....
One rather disturbing new discovery this week though. I have been checked out by men again. No, not men in their 30s, or even 40s. But men in their 50s and 60s AND BEYOND. Who knew????!!!!! It's a bit like having your dad or a teacher eyeing you up. It doesn't help that my father in law is only 52....yeah, you work that one out.
So yes, be warned if you transition not only do you pass the baton, you are also very clearly wearing a massive flashing grey neon sign that says:
NOW RECEPTIVE TO INTEREST FROM MUCH OLDER MEN.
It's taking some adjustment but it's all part of me accepting that I'm not a young woman anymore, which is precisely why I've done this. I've only got myself to blame!